A Step Closer

You asked: "How was corporate Sunday?"
I replied with an excitement ringing in my voice: "It was a blast!"
Pinching your brows together, you asked: "The music?"
"Yes! Yes!" I exclaimed. "Music was great, place was nice, atmosphere was awesome!". Then I pause and took a deep breath before continuing "but what God did within me was THE BLAST!"

Indeed, God did an amazing thing in me on Sunday. Not just because it was a special, corporate Sunday, but because He knew I needed that breakthrough.

From that day we made the decision, to follow the cross before us and leave the world behind us, we all know we've had times we struggled to keep afloat. How often thoughts of throwing in the towel rages in our mind, and feeble hands and feet threaten to give way at any one moment. Your heavy feet will always tell you the pastures are greener on the other side; on the well-trampled walkway, the one that's wide and easy to walk upon.

There has been countless occasions that I've cried and wished this path I'm taking could be cemented with more mercy; That choosing to take up our cross and follow Him didn't have to cost us so much. The convictions and standards that we root our feet upon are certainly not the easiest to uphold. And those decisions we make are not always our heart's desires.

So you must be thinking, these Christians must be such fools to choose the harder route. Haha, I wouldn't deny that sometimes I do feel like a fool. There were many occasions where I could choose to make things a lot easier for myself if I had just said yes to a drink, or smile-off a swear word and pretend it didn't matter. Maybe make some bad remarks and join in the gossip about someone else so I could be accepted and be a part. But I still prefer to remain stubborn about my convictions; no means no

But if you asked me have I ever regretted I made this decision to be a follower of Christ, I would tell you without any hesitation, never.

Even though the storms have hit a thousand times, and in those times it felt like God was nowhere to be found, the truth is - He never left. Even though I have fallen and failed, messed up a million other times, His river of mercy never runs dry.

For a season of time before Sunday, I carried a heavy heart everywhere I went. It felt like I have lost that passion and love for God that keeps me running. Just when I thought, that's it, I have lost my grip, His wings swept from beneath me and there I was riding on the air currents under His refuge. I think I have forgotten to lean not on my own strength but on God who has promised He will be the One that carries us through both the good and bad times.

Even though there is a price to pay when we choose to follow Jesus, but the reward that awaits us at the end of our race supersedes the cost. Furthermore, He never meant for us to walk alone, He has made us to sit upon His shoulders, and depend on Him.

When I am weak, then I am strong. Because God He is the One that'll give us the strength to live for Him.